you're late

    helo helo everyone! i'm back and happy new year lovers <3

"you're late"

"im sorry for taking such a long time"

i wish i could tell you that i am sorry for taking such a long time to realise that i need you, i know it is already too late for me. although i know i don't deserve a second chance, if i let you go this time, i'd be the one who made the mistake.

i want to be with you, all this time. yet i know i've hurt you many times, and i promised you that im not the same person. i was selfish for denying those emotions, dismissing you, and making you cry since you mean the world to me. 

since i am the bad person, i get it when you dont want to forgive me. as in the past, it is now too late. you should know that the jokes we shared and the memories we created together are some of my favourites. my favourite things to do with you were late-night conversations and random video calls. my person is you. & you'll always be my special one. if only there was a way for me to go back in time and spend more time with you. i want to spend more time with you. 

it took me a few weeks just to realise that all i wanted was to be with you. you are the only one i need right now. and it's all too late because i notice you're happier without me...

i thought it was better late than never, but i was wrong. i should've realised it sooner.

it almost kills me

 Hello everyone I'm going to share a story with you that really hurts. 

I had a crush on this particular boy in the year 2020. He is tall, kind, and charming. He's in a separate class—the science stream—so I don't often speak to him. I don't know how I was so brave to start talking to him. What a surprise, he isn't ignoring me. We were laid back, and talking to him was enjoyable.

As we grew closer, we began to discuss some emotional subjects. I definitely feel something for him, but I'm not sure if I should pursue it considering I was just 17 at the time. We discussed how he really feels about me, so it was a lot of fun. 

We made the decision to stick together. Being with someone you've always loved was wonderful. When I had an extra class, he is the one that waits for me every evening. He is the one who constantly reminds me to eat and ensures that I don't skip meals due of my stomach issues. As well as loving me even when I despise myself, he is the one.

The fact that we did everything together back then was a great way for us to create memories before high school ended. We made the decision to take a different course after finishing our SPM. Since we used to spend our time doing activities together, it was initially difficult. In order to ensure that we were aware of one another's actions, we tried a variety of activities. We communicated, went on dates, spoilt and surprised each other. It is difficult to always find time when you are miles apart from each other.

We made the decision to break up after two years. I was devastated and enraged. I do love him, but it doesn't mean I can make him continue to love me once he loses the will to do so. I spent months experiencing my denial periods before thinking of something. It helps me realise that I'm not to blame. I'm learning from it, so I won't love anyone more than myself going forward. I should prioritise myself; I should never have any doubts about doing so. I do get hurt, and I think he is too. But our only choice is to let go. We didn't have a pleasant ending since I was terrified to talk to and see him, but at least I know he has someone who can support him.

I wish you were able to read this to know that I have no regrets about spending all this time with you. You make me incredibly happy. Because I once had such a strong affection for you, I don't despise you. however, I'm happy that you're content right now. 

goodbye

a letter to someone that i love

I understand that life hasn't been easy for you, and I apologise for that. You need to understand how proud I am of you for still enduring those days. I understand that you're exhausted, so don't be too hard on yourself. However, courtesy is requested. I can assure you that all of the suffering and tears will be worthwhile since everything happens for a reason. 

Do not listen to others who try to convince you otherwise since you are the best person to make that decision. I may be the last person you want to see, but you can count on me to always have your back. Simply take in the now, whatever you do. Feel the beat, take in the scenery, and speak your love.

Later on, you might regret not living life to the fullest. I think you'll be OK, so don't be afraid to be in a strange place. Yes, you'll be alright because you naturally possess that talent. the capacity to support oneself. Because you are still here, you are extraordinary. I am aware of your ambitions, and because of how extraordinary you are, I have no doubt that you will succeed in realising your goals. You'll face numerous challenges along the way, but you'll overcome them all. Failure will never stop since it's just a part of life, my love. Do your absolute best as you proceed. You're covered, mate! 

this is for you , nazira <3

be strong, sweetheart

SESAL AND REGRET

Hi, readers!

I guess we're early for this week because I had to do two blog posts in a week. My bad because I didn’t check for last week's theme. Anyway, for this week, we are going to talk about "SESAL."

 

Weh banyak gila lagu pasal sesal? ;sesal mendua, sesal separuh nyawa, beribu sesalan, and tu baru lagu melayu. English songs were many too and one of them was "Back to December" by Taylor Swift.

 

If you asked me, have I ever felt sorry for myself or regretted all these years?

The answer is yes.

There are a lot of things that I regret not realising sooner. I mean everything I did; just make me feel sorry because I don't know if it's something I really want or not. It is not good for your mental health because you are killing yourself with your own thoughts. I'm aware that it's progressively making me detest myself. Thanks to all the wonderful individuals in my life, I have constant reminders that it's okay to feel that way. The fact that I don't need to feel guilty for what has happened is something else they continually emphasising to me. The next one should take priority because that is how we survived.

One time, my mother warned me that I would experience emotions like sadness and rage because I do regret my choice. However, she constantly reassures me that a rainbow will appear after a storm. You are the rainbow itself, therefore resist letting anyone else make you feel that way.

Sweetheart, it is okay to do something different, maybe out of your comfort zone. You don't need to stay in your safe zone forever because you only live once. Either you will regret not trying something new later or you will regret trying something new. For me, I would rather feel regret for doing something new, but at least I learned something.

akibat or consequences

-alexa play consequences by camilla cabello-

Helo helo everyone,

Sorry for this week, we’re a bit late because I didn’t realise the topic had already been there.

So for last week, we had "Akibat" as a theme.

There’s a lot of things that can be said with "akibat", but I guess I'm going to remind all of us of something that we might forget.

We’re humans; we can’t run from mistakes.

We learned from our mistakes, and if there are mistakes, there are also consequences. If we did something, then we have to face the consequences. It doesn’t matter if we did it right or wrong.

There are always consequences.

One thing that I’ve always reminded myself is to not run or turn away from the consequences.  It is because you never learn if you run from it.  Actually, you will grow up when you learn from your consequences. You will not repeat the same mistakes if you know the consequences.

someone told me that; "apa yang kita buat dalam kehidupan seharian, pasti ada akibat sama ada dari sudut negatif atau positif. tapi, sedarkah kita bahawa akibat itu akan menyedarkan kita untuk terus berhati hati dalam membuat sesuatu perkara."

I guess it was true after all, because I'm still here with my consequences.  Do not feel bad or useless because you can always learn from your consequences.

panic with me :p

hi hi everyone, this week topic kita panik

saya nak cerita this one incident, 

waktu cuti deepavali haritu my friends and i went to fraser hill ( healing la konon )then kitaorang gerak la from kl to pahang, everything was fine jalan tak jammed semua sampai la tiba tiba masa dah masuk jalan one way nak naik fraser hill kitaorang stuck in the middle nowhere. ada pokok tumbang so we stuck there for 45 minutes.  at first panic la sebab all of us perempuan, then nasib baik this one uncle helped us. we were panic but still boleh control. ramai la jugak stuck and tunggu untuk pokok dialihkan. luckily, we still manage to get there before maghrib !!

then masa on the way balik, we were lost at first. kitaorang salah masuk simpang nak turun, so makin lama makin ke atas. all of us macam panik tapi kitaorang tak tunjuk la sebab kesian kat kawan yang bawak nanti dia lagi extra panik. so kitaorang yang lain control macho la.  then, we found this one family and tanya balik la jalan ni betul ke tak. oh rupa rupanya kitaorang salah jalan. 

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH

it was fun sebab semua orang panic tapi control macho ?? anyway i highly suggest that we go travel and explore new things with your friends.

maybe you’ll panic because things didn’t go well as you expected. dont panic, take a deep breath and slowly find the solution <3

1001 ways to get over your ex ?

helo, helo, everyone! 

today i am going to talk about how to get over your ex

 so are you ready ???

i believe that each of us has had at least one heartbreak

so do i (pls ew)

to be honest, theres no specific way to forget someone we love and adore.

but life must go on, right ?

so we have to get over them ! (PLS MOVE ON EVERYONE)

FIRST OF ALL, YOU SHOULD ENJOY WHAT YOU DO !!

(this is so important!! if you dont then youll keep thinking about them)

sweetheart, you only live once. 

go explore new things, try something new and be confident .

SECOND, YOU SHOULD THINK THAT IT IS THEIR LOSS !!

babe, you are perfect just the way you are!!

so the only way to make them regret it is by proving that youre better off without them 

it is normal to blame ourselves for what happened.

but you gotta live, so improve yourself!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST, YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF FIRST

WHY??

helo lovers, how could we love someone when we dont even love ourselves?

always priorities yourself;prioritise yourself over them.

then youll understand how valueable you are .

PLEASE GET OVER THEM!! 

YOULL BE FINE, MAYBE NOW YOUR JOURNEY IT IS NOT ABOUT LOVE,

IT IS ABOUT FINDING YOUR OWN SELF.

HAVE FUN EVERYONE , YOLO PEACE OUT

CHOICES ITU PILIHAN

 

Helo, helo, everyone!

Welcome back, it’s me, Nazira, with her unsaid thought.

 

This week, we will discuss "pilihan," also known as "choices".

Do you ever realise that in our lives we have so many choices? Yes, we have like more than hundred choices a day.

Kita kena pilih nak pakai baju apa? nak makan apa? nak pergi mana? nak gerak pukul berapa? Yes, ITU SEMUA PILIHAN. sedar tak?

kalau nak cerita pasal pilihan banyak sangat benda yang boleh kaitkan dengan diri kita.

But today, I'm just going to talk secara keseluruhan. In our lives, we have to decide each day what to do. It is what we called "choices." Sometimes we don’t even realise that we’ve already made a choice. Now, I want you to start looking at yourself and asking yourself, 

"Have you made your choice today?"

Every time I need to choose something, I get scared because I don't know what will happen to me if I make that choice. I think all of us get scared whenever we have multiple options.  However, I want you to remember this. In our lives, there’s no such thing as a wrong choice, even if you think that you've made a bad decision. It is not sweetheart. It is part of learning. Don't be scared to make a choice.

One thing you have to remember is to never think of yourself as an option. You are more than that. So always BE PROUD of yourself and BE BRAVE with your choices. If you've already made up your mind to walk away, then walk away. because you always have PILIHAN.

babah

 olla, welcome to my blog again! :p

another week another random thought with me 

so bear with me okie ><

for this week, kita takde specific theme. and im not sure nak cakap pasal apa.

but i think i wanna share with you guys how SPECIAL my dad is.

mama pernah cerita yang my name sebenarnya plan nak letak as nadhirah tapi babah salah dengar masa nak pergi daftar so jadi NAZIRA.

masa first time, i dengar i gelak gelak la jugak how can a father salah letak nama anak kan ? tapi i rasa special jugak sebab my dad decide sendiri je my name. 

and i dont even remember yang babah pernah marah saya. tapi i know whenever mama marah, i would run to babah, mengadu and menangis.  

YES I AM FOREVER DADDY’S GIRL.

there’s one time, mama marah and i dont even dare to go out from my room.  suddenly, babah datang and hugged me. (+ babah bawak makan kat luar supaya saya stop nangis hihi)

yes my dad is my knight shining amor <3 

since i was a little girl, babah would say that he’s super proud with me even it is just a small achievement. masa first time, i belajar naik basikal without my training wheels. babah sorak and run to me asap bila nampak saya jatuh.  the day when i needed to go to boarding school, babah called me every single day just to make sure i was okay.  he even ulang alik klang to serting setiap minggu for 2 years sebab i homesick. when spm result was announced, i feel bad because i didnt get straight a’s. tapi babah still cakap yang dia proud dengan saya and treat me with my favourite drink.  nampak random and simple tapi i would remember that day sampai bila bila. and i would always remember the day when i cried so hard, the day that my heart was broken.  i will always remember apa babah cakap to me. 

he said that i will always be his baby tak kisahlah umur waktu 20 years old or 35 years old. i will always be his baby girl and he will protect me. 

“babah, taknak nampak awak nangis lagi macam ni”.

look, how special my dad is. no one could ever replace you, babah.

you will always be my first boyfriend 🤍

this is such a random thought that i wish my dad would read it.

babah, 

youve no idea how special you are.

i rarely tell you that i love you,

but im so thankful for having you as my dad.

i will choose you again and again.

youre the best and the coolest dad! :)

thank you for loving me and protect me, babah.

inilah boyfriend saya :p

mula or beginning

mula or beginning?

 

hi, it’s me im the problem it’s me -ts22

welcome to my blog peeps( unsaid thoughts with me :p )

so for today, i am going to talk about MULA .

there’s a lot of things yang kita boleh cakap tentang mula, but this topic made me realise one thing.

do you know that one day, we have 86400 seconds = 1440 minutes = 24 hours.

yep, in 1 day we've made tons of mistakes and we dont even realize it because we’re too busy think about our past mistakes.

as i said, we have times so dont  worry about your mistake from yesterday  or the past year. you’ve got 24 hours to START a change.  it is okay to feel bad and to be sad but you have to START changing.

this whole thing makes me recall this one incident happened to me back in january.  i vividly remembered the day i felt like everything was bad and i dont want to START my day because i thought that everyday is a bad day for me.

but one day, my friends and i decided to take some fresh air ( jalan jalan petang) around college and i start to feel alive again.

i told them about it, and they said “ tak kisah lah if kau rasa the whole world is collapsing, tapi kau kena tahu yang kau sendiri kena MULA”.

at first, i dont even understand kenapa aku yang kena MULA tapi lama kelamaan i know the reasons.  MULA ni tak kisah apa pun, either it is MULA untuk bangun pagi or MULA nak belajar perkara baru or MULA to fall in love.

semua benda kita kena MULAKAN sebab there’s no ending without the BEGINNING. 

you can start your day at 10 in the morning or at 3 pm. it doesn’t matter if you wakeup late and MULA your day a bit later than everyone else.

your life, your decision.  i used to think that if my day wasn’t good in the morning, i had a bad PERMULAAN of the day and my whole day is going to be awful.

but growing up makes me realize, it is not going to be awful. it is just a process.

 instead of feeling bad and giving up for the whole day, i STARTED to change my perspective. 

NOW IT IS YOUR TURN TO START AND MULA YOUR DAY ;p